The Elderly: The Final Solution

ABSTRACT: With a growing population, and thus a negative impact on our resources, I suggest the termination of the senescent, labeled as geripragmus1, under proper stipulations and enforcement.

ARTICLE: What has been oft left unstated in our modern day political campaigns especially in regards to the economy and finances is that no small amount of cutting will properly address the United States’, much less global, fiscal problems. Governments around the world are noting that their economical problems can’t be easily addressed by slightly more taxes or reducing only a portion of some miscelanous spending—what is needed is something that addresses the very core of the issue: the problem of the senescent.

In 2010 the global population was about 6.8 billion people2, but the complete global labor force consisted of a mere 3.3 billion. Less than half of the global population is actually working, and that figure brushes over the fact that 9.1% of the complete global population is suffering unemployment. With 58.5% of the GDP contributing to public debt, these figures are admittedly alarming.

Things become more drastic when we note that the average life expectancy has increased to 65 years. With a half billion senescent in the world who are over 65 years of age and who must be provided for, these numbers spell certain catastrophe. Unable to apply their denigrating frame to the rigors of labor, they are provided for by taxes in the form of “elderly care” or programs with all types of extemporaneous medical benefits.

So you’ll find that the largest portion of the United States spending are not on defense, but rather Medicare and Social Security.

With a prediction of 9 billion people worldwide by 2050, this would mean that global resources will be overwhelmingly taxed and human life will be eventually unsustainable.

SOLUTION: When a participating individual of society counts 65 years to their presence on our global community, they will then enter into the home of one of the younger they have reared. These younger participants of society will pay for their own geripragmus, as it were, and wholly reserve the right to terminate the geripragmus which resides within their home.

The judgment, up to a certain age, for this will also be reserved by the internal convictions of these younger individuals. After all, they might find that they derive some sort of benefit from the geripragmus, which is not really contributing to the public scale as a whole. Perhaps the geripragmus knows the recipe for a sauce that has, heretofore, been undisclosed to the familial circle. This subjective thing doesn’t impact the public but it may bear some importance to the convictions of the family—but in that case they should, of their own accord, provide for this stage.

Of course, the government can gladly support the families and offer tax incentives to terminate the geripragmus sooner, but up to 72 years this stage can be financially viable for the younger couple. After 72 years, without proper allowances, the government must bear the right to terminate this stage of life due to the problems of continued support and the benefits of termination.

To summarize:

  • The geripragmus cannot work. They have no fiscally sound ability to support themselves much less the economic structure.
  • As already mentioned, the geripragmus are an economic burden to the society as a whole. Ensuring that the senescent are terminated will result in flourishing resources both financially and in global sustainability.
  • The geripragmus cannot reproduce. Their ability to ensure the sustainability of life on the planet has reached its term.
  • The geripragmus aren’t aware. Like the fetal stage of development, many geripragmus are in a fog of confusion and lost memories.
  • The geripragmus (unlike the fetus) no longer develop; they devolve.
  • The government has no right to impinge on the rights of individuals in their homes. As such, individuals can terminate the geripragmus whenever they see fit, unless it reaches 72 years at this stage and then the government bears the responsibility of termination.

Of course, there are some slight benefits to keeping the geripragmus alive longer. Medical testing of medicines and other scientific research can easily be performed on the geripragmus due to it’s expiration date and their similarity to a viable human population. They might not reproduce and have serious problems with circulation, respiration, and so forth but at the very least they bear a remarkeable semblance with the human population that we can yield excellent scientific results. The benefits to science and medicine would be incalculable and these often-burdensome aspects of human evolution can now ably be subsumed under the strictures of Darwinian survival.

Let’s move ahead and implement these plans before it’s too late.

(Get more satire in your diet.)


1 The Geripragmal Stage is the final, and static, stage of human life rapidly devolving before it expires, the subject which is properly labeled a geripragmus. They can be either male or female but since they’re reproductive abilities are compromised, and their activity progressively decreases, they are better described as asexual.

2 C.I.A World Fact Book

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