Hope I?m not squeezing the juice out this Ben-Haddad bit but here I am again. This time I?m taking a look at his planning. I mean, the guy?s mind was set. He had his undeniable proof that the Israelite God was a God of the mountains and He would surely be bested in the open plains. He fired his kings and hired military commanders. He set out against the Israelites in full force right after the thaw. All that planning and it just came shattering down when they came face to face with reality. This is a personal meandering musing kind of post so don?t expect too many quotes when I consider how the best laid plans just don?t always pan out.
I was supposed to meet some of the Geek Friends for lunch and wound up stuck in Best Buy seething at the slack-jawed customers the sales clerks were dealing with. A mindless herd of customers who said they knew what they wanted and yet, when being helped they would graze around the hardware in an obscure cloud. ?1:05? I told the Geek Friends (Curt, Jerry) knowing that I would get us there at that time and realizing it might not pan out the way I had planned when one of my work buddies decided to drive instead. Plan derailed.
Fast forward to now and I just emptied out about three boxes of sketches, paintings, panels and all out illustrations. Years of my life wrapped up, put into flattened boxes and carted downstairs. I was going to be either a comic book penciler or some sort of illustrator. Today I?m a graphic designer who spends most of his personal design time on web projects. Plan transformed.
My wife showed me an old card of the year I shaved my head. I thought it would be cool to just go bald. I look back at those pictures and I looked sick. Now, my shaggy head sees shears about once every month and a half and only when my wife begs. You would think my strength was in my locks. Plans thankfully dead.
My wife just found some letters of when we were corresponding before we were dating. In the letters I was pouring my soul out on how I wanted to stop being a Christian Coward, meet someone (ha) and retire at 30 (HA!). Today I am (1) still employed and recently thankful that I survived another round of layoffs; (2) the person I wanted to meet I had met and I wound up marrying her and (3) my cowardice grips me more than it did before but now with a combination of pride. I see and use God?s gift for me as a teacher and yet realize that I should be doing more teaching with less of me…if that makes sense. Pride slays me as much as cowardice and I hate them both. Plans panning out the way I least expected.
Ben-Haddad huddled in a corner when his plans came crashing down and I hope to God that I don?t find myself doing that. I guess I could say that all things work together for good but I don?t like pulling verses so completely out of context to the point that it?s a meaningless proverb.
I think I may have to go back and finish my Daniel series because there is a guy who found life completely changing beneath him and he didn?t rely on his own plans but the Lord?s?to the point of keeping track of a timetable. This post is nightmarishly bad and for that I apologize.
-r