A Word From God

Last night I received a Word from God: He told me to test the spirits because they might be flashy, but they can still be wrong. No, I didn’t hear an audible voice telling me this. No, I didn’t see this in a dream. I sat in a service while the preacher gave me a Word From God. Let me explain.

The invitation was a surprise—just like all the other times I went to these sort of things. The lot was filled, just like always. The small, family filled chapel was packed—still unsurprising. And up front was the standard energetic speaker saying things like “You guys are enjoying this. I know that. My Spirit tells me.” and “Come on, now” and “Can I hear you say ‘WOW!'” and even “I want my spirit to wash over all of you.”

The hour long message spring boarding off Gideon was about depression, how we all have our terebinth trees where we thresh wheat where we shouldn’t, in hiding. How sometimes being a believer isn’t enough, how sometimes the word of God isn’t enough, sometimes all of his past promises aren’t enough; that at those times we need a sign from God. And God provides the sign (Come on, now). God comes to where Gideon is (can I hear an ‘Amen’?) in his state of depression and hiding and agrees to give him a sign.

But God doesn’t  stop there there (no he doesn’t: come on, come on!) sometimes we have our own little stupid ideas, the ideas we don’t share with anyone else, our own little stupid piece of wool and we bring it to the Lord to Do Something with it—and He does (come on, Amen? Come on, now). Water, in the Bible, stands for his word, for life and for grace: and your stupid little idea is drenched in Water (Can I hear you say ‘wow!’ Come on, now: say “WOW!”). And not only that, God will make sure to drench not only your idea but all those around you because it’s all about Grace (I know you guys are enjoying this) because I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for grace, I wouldn’t be a pastor if it wasn’t for grace, I wouldn’t be preaching around the world if it wasn’t for grace: Grace (congregational: amen.), Grace(congregational: Amen!), GRACE (congregational: AMEN!), GRACE (congregational: YES, LORD!), GRACE! (Can you feel it? I want my spirit to wash over all of you. I wanna’ hear you say “Wow” Come on, now)(congregational: AMEN! THANK YOU LORD! THANK YOU GOD! GRACE! GRACE!)

Well, after managing an entire meeting without mentioning Christ, the Gospel of God, or pretty much anything else based on its proper context; and while simultaneously spending more time talking about himself being a benefit for us and quoting Elijah 2 Kings 5:8, he started the prophecy hour. This is the hour where his message is confirmed by the miraculous way that he gets an impression about people and gives them a Word from God.

First were the impressions about people with depression that needed to be freed. He summoned catchers, which was good since one lady fell down in a Spiritual Swoon (although she had the presence of mind to pull up her pants and adjust her shirt so that we don’t see any unnecessary tail). Then God gave him an impression of people with headaches and high blood pressure who needed to be freed. He summoned catchers while speaking in tongues (and pointing unnecessarily, I guess).

Next God gave him an impression about Me, Rey. I knew it was going to happen, of course. Every time I’m in a charismatic church, the speaker, the pastors, the leaders, or the people are always led by the Holy Spirit to pray for me. I have one of those faces that need a blessing and unshackling, I guess.

So he came down the aisle, asks me my name, if I go to church, and if he can pray for me. First he revealed his anointing by unveiling everything I ever did. Okay, not really but he did tell the congregation that I (the guy who was sitting on the first seat inside the aisle who didn’t clap, amen or laugh once during the meeting) am strong-willed,  decisive, that I know want and I do it, that  I’m a leader and I’m in ministry. Then he proceeded to pray.

After the meeting, my friend told me that this was only the second time at this church but since the guy so called me out and totally nailed who I was, the message was confirmed: it was a speaking of God and he’d have to stick around with this church.

I told my friend “Just remember to test the spirits.”

“Totally and a test is if they’re doing the same miraculous things Christ did—that sure looked like it!”

“Well, that might be part of it” I said ignoring making a sticking point about the very  minor part of the whole thing “but really examine the spirit behind the message. Is it the message that Christ would have preached? Would it have consumed the apostles?”

So yeah, God spoke to me last night. He said to watch out with this stuff where people use signs and wonders to confirm the preaching of Anything.

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4 Comments

  1. Now Rey… don’t you know that by resisting this anointed message you are, in effect, turning your back on God. Which means that you are in rebellion. And everyone knows that rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft.

    Just admit it. You’re a witch – or warlock – if you want to get all PC. So how did it start? Here’s how it typically goes :

    – You start dressing up at Halloween and actually visit your neighbors instead of staying at home and handing out Jack Chick tracts.
    – You read Harry Potter on the sly. You may think no one sees you, but God does.
    – Old episodes of Bewitched start to seem more and more appealing.
    – You buy a 70s conversion van with a rainbow and unicorn painted on the side.
    – And then you immediately jump to joining a Druidic cult which dances naked under a full moon while sacrificing cats and the occasional guinea pig.

    You my friend, are in the fast lane to Hell.

  2. The moment a pastor starts saying that sometimes the Word of God and the Lord’s past promises aren’t enough is the moment that I doubt the rest of anything that comes out of his mouth. Yikes. I’m sorry I missed you being singled out, though. Sounds like a trip!

  3. Dani, it’s gotten to the point that when I show up at these things I know for a fact (maybe because I really do get a Word from the Lord) that they’re going to single me out. It always happens.

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