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christ history personal

Thomas’ Lonely Week: Eighth Day

Sunday. The Eighth Day.

The door opens and Thomas enters in, the small hot room is filled with men. The meal is being set out on the table. John is wearing a towel, finishing washing Matthew’s feet. Matthew is weeping but there’s no sadness in the tears.

“Look who’s here!” Andrew shouting. Thomas waves as Andrew locks the door behind him.

“Tom” Peter bellows while Thomas says “Hey Pete”

“Tommy!” Phil shouts.

“Hey, you’re here!” John, rising from the floor coming over with bucket in hand. Thomas and Andrew walk towards the group.

“Guys, I’m only here for a little bit but I gotta’ tell you–“

“Shalom. Shalom be with you.” The voice comes to the right shoulder of Thomas. The door is still closed, the lockbar still in place.

Silence. The disciples are transfixed over Thomas’ shoulder and he doesn’t breathe as He closes his eyes and slowly turns around.

“Tom. Come over here with your finger and see My hands. Why don’t you also put your hand here, in My side. Stop doubting but believe.”

Thomas doesn’t move; he barely looks at the very real evidence of the risen Jesus. He stares at his eyes and his long, lonely week slam into him bringing him to his knees, knocking him down to understand and confess.

“You are the Lord Messiah–but more, you are my Lord Master. You are my Lord God. My Lord and My God.”

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christ history personal

Thomas’ Lonely Week: Saturday

Saturday.

The sun is shining brightly. We are outside of the house, looking in through the open window seeing Thomas standing at the open door. The table is no longer turned over. The stain on the wall is cleaned. Thomas’ personal effects lay neatly on the table, next to his satchel. We can’t hear the soft voice of the person Thomas is speaking with.

“No, I will not come Sabbath: the High Priest may still be looking for us. I will be leaving on tomorrow evening. They’re still in Jerusalem you say? Well, I’ll see them there then.

A pause.

“I have some words for them: even if He really isn’t alive the signs He did, the words He said, the authority He gave us: all those things are too much for a mere man. I still don’t think they’re specifically right about His being back that would imply–well, its not even worth thinking about that.”

A longer pause.

“Yes, yes, I know: I’m not doubting you. I’m saying that when people hope so much, anything is possible but, let’s not argue. I think I understand some things about Him now that I didn’t have a clue about when He was still alive.

“He knew, Martha! He planned it! I intend to tell them this.”

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christ history personal

Thomas’ Lonely Week: Friday

Friday.

Knocking on the heavy wooden door. No one is answering. Martha says something about the Disciples still being in Jerusalem and now we can see her walking away, sadly looking over her shoulder.

The table is still turned over. The pillows are still in disarray. A smear of dried liquid is on the wall. On the floor, staring up at the ceiling with tired yet active eyes is Thomas.

He raises his hands to his face, turns them upwards, then turns the palms back to himself.

“These hands performed miracles.” He squints at the dirty fingernails and the calluses “These hands cast out demons and yet they have no power.”

He sits up and continues to examine his hands then touches his lips “This mouth preached the Kingdom of God to the Jews and even” he smiles “the Samaritans. These lips.

“And yet they have no knowledge on their own.”

He reaches down to his feet, rubs the calluses and shakes his head “These feet walked about, preaching His Gospel and yet they have no reason to walk about if not for that Gospel.

Thomas’ head shoots up “We did all this because He was the one who told us to. We had no power, He gave it to us. We had no message, it was His words. We had no hope, it was all in Him.”

He smiles.

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christ history personal

Thomas’ Lonely Week: Thursday

Thursday.

“We don’t know where you’re going, how can we know the way to get there…” Thomas growls to himself. “We don’t KNOW where you’re going!” he yells it snidely, grabs a pillow and throws it against the wall.”

He kicks over the table and punches the wall “Let’s go with him to Judea and die!” grabs his bag and throws it against the wall “We don’t Know where you’re going!” Thomas throws a punch at the air and falls down, heavily breathing.

Now sobbing.

“…Eloi, eloi, lama sabachtani…?” He turns over “How could we have been so blind?”

Categories
christ history personal

Thomas’ Lonely Week: Wednesday

Wednesday.

Thomas is at the door, basket in hand waving at Martha who is going back to the main house. The sun is high in the noon sky.

He carries the basket back to the table and sits down, heavily sinking into the pillow around it. He takes a big whiff, smiles absentmindedly and opens up the small towel covering the food.

Bread. Fish. A skin of wine.

He stares.

He gingerly, tenderly picks up the fish, his eyes distant “…how we worked that day. Here…there…” He smiles “…how we worked.

“Over five thousand fed from…” he picks up bread, drops it “a few scant loaves and couple of measly fish. We knew He was Messiah from that and yet…and yet it was the next day…

“…at the Synagogue…about His body being bread. Then at the supper on that night–‘this is my body given for you.’ Not only did He know but He planned for this very thing.

“At that time He said He’d raise us up on the last day…how could He do that if He was in Sheol where there is no knowledge of God?”

Thomas eats, brow furrowed.