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Calvin Resurrected; Claims to be 3 and 1/2 Point Calvinist

Calvin Resurrected; Claims to be 3 and 1/2 Point Calvinist (Links to where this was originally posted)

GENEVA, SWITZERLAND – In an event that has left the medical community stunned, John Calvin the Reformer (click here to read about a different John Calvin) was resurrected from the dead about three weeks ago. This has been kept silent until today for two reasons. First, because it would cause a media frenzy, Calvin’s doctors did not want to immediately release the news to the press. Second, Calvin needed to be brought up to speed on things that have occurred since his death (such as the Puritan movement in England, the Enlightenment, the Industrial revolution, controlled electricity, manned-flight, the wars of the 20th Century, and the iPhone).


Sy’s Literal Hermeneutic

“Wow, Saul really did Bad Stuff to David. Hunting him. Throwing a spear at him. Wanting to kill him.”

“Yes, Sy: Saul was a bad king. A very jealous man.”

“But at least, in the end he turned good and started telling everybody about Jesus.”

“What? No, Saul never did that, Sy.”

“But, Don’t you remember? Saul–he became Paul! And he preached about God.”

jokes rey's a point



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Worshipping On Mountains

The following is an example of today’s preaching and yesteryear’s theological stances which have carried into today. Begin Transmission: When we study the Bible let’s make sure to do it systematically—finding out all that the Scriptures have to say on a subject and deducting our conclusion. In fact, you can even start the process by thinking about the attributes of God then finding out how the Scriptures fits into your thinking. Read on, and see how the Scriptures teach that we are to worship on mountains.